I spent my Friday, Saturday and Sunday attending Landmark Forum. Yep, all day. 9 a.m to 10 p.m. It sounds intense and it was, and I discovered more about myself in those three days than I thought was possible. My intention in attending was to help me focus on my career path and communication skills. I thought I was pretty normal, I didn’t need self-help, I didn’t have a traumatic childhood, and thought it was going to be cool to learn whatever it was I was supposed to learn. However, what I got out of it was how dramatic I was (humans are) and how the power of interpretations ran my life.
I also discovered something called the squirrel diet. (can't have a blog without talking food)... I ate raw oatmeal early in the morning and then snacked A LOT on nuts and then ate one meal of my choice in the afternoon and lots of water. It was the first time in my life where I sat for a LONG period of time and didn’t stress about food. It was maybe a breakthrough. I also didn’t go to the grocery store this week, which is the first time in almost six years (except when I’m on vacation and even then I’ll end up in a store of some sorts). I also left my room messy and overall have a more laid back approach to life. Not that I’m laid back, but I relaxed… a lot.
Ever since Lori told me about Landmark before I started working for lululemon, I’ve been pumped for the great results that people raved about. Lululemon sent me this past weekend and it was such an incredible experience. I don’t want to make this seem like “YOU HAVE TO REGISTER” nor do I want it coming off as a cult, so I’m going to give a edited version of what I learned.
There are facts and there are interpretations. Most of what humans think, say, feel, believe, its all interpretations for how they perceive life. Facts are facts, true events to what happened. I realized I created all kinds of stories about who I was based on experiences and things that happened in my life. Landmark called these stories…rackets. I uncovered my rackets… they were… I cared what people thought, I always had to be right, I had to be in control, love doesn’t exist, I’ll never get married, men are untrustworthy, I am not good enough, I don’t deserve good things. I wont get into details of the back stories of how I created these silly rackets, but basically I learned that because of what happened in my past I was using those interpretations to dictate the present which really had impending doom to my future.
My main breakthrough had a lot to deal with relationships. I had to admit I was being unauthentic for a really long time. Do you have any idea how hard it is to admit your wrong? And admit in having NO integrity for a long period of time. It was hard, but I did it. I had always thought I was a good person and not that I’m a bad person, but living life without authenticity really created a mess and made me make up stories for the way life was, had to be, who I was and who I had to be. Living a life with integrity creates clear open space for possibility.
I made phone calls and admitted a lot of things to people that were holding me back from living an authentic life with integrity. Integrity doesn’t necessarily mean just being honest; it’s about not hiding from things. Your willingness to do what your say you’re going to do. Anytime there’s an aspect of your life that’s not working, life lacks integrity. It’s not whole. It’s not working and it’s enabling you from living an extraordinary life.
The conversations I had with Kolter, my mom, my friends, lifted so much weight off my shoulders. I didn’t realize how much my past decisions and interpretations on love and relationships were influencing me right now. I have been so closed off to serious relationships and through landmark I learned that life is made up of interpretations and facts and interpretations don’t mean anything. So with that, I am open to creating the possibility to have anything I want. In relationships, work, etc. Anything is possible and really understanding that concept is revolutionary not only to me… but also to the 160 people I graduated with and the hundreds of thousands of people who have taken part in landmark across the world. If the entire world could have this mindset, we’d live in peace.
I’m still working through some loose ends and conversations I need to have, and trying to apply simple concepts to my every day life to help me live a more powerful life. Landmark informed me the differences between choice and decisions. I have a choice in anything. I choose my family. I choose my friends and all the people in my life who have impacted, inspired and changed my life. I choose Keiko and Oka. I choose Lori, the best roommate and best friend in the world. I choose Pure Barre. I choose lululemon. I choose to wake up happy even if it’s at 5:30 in the morning because I just do. I choose New York City. I choose to work all the time so I can be in an amazing city and do what I love. I choose my body and even though it is a work in progress, I am going to choose it and love it. I choose to eat healthy. I choose to workout everyday. I choose my Iphone, I choose AG jeans, and I choose Juice Generation… the list goes on. But basically we all have the choice. Waking up everyday and loving or hating life is a simple choice. I’m always going to choose happiness. I’m always going to choose positivity and I’m always going to choose love even if I do resist it. I understand now, that choice is power and in that, the possibilities are endless.
I’m in a good place with myself right now. I am excited and ready to take risks. I am open, I am grateful, I am so content and I am ready to create!
Much love from the most amazing city…. Xoxoxo.
This blog represents my thoughts and what's going on in the world through my eyes. It's personal, real, sad and funny and is an outlet and a way to share with you, my life and the adventures of this amazing city and beyond.
“Ask for what you want and be prepared