My time on the UES is coming to an end in the next month. It’s been a crazy two years and I am ready to run… fast and head on, because I’m simply ready to push onwards and change. I’ve been kept safe and sound surrounded by families, old people and young couples starting their lives together. It’s been lovely.
There are plenty of people like me too, who are starting out in life or getting settled into something awesome. It’s been a journey for sure. I am not happy up here though. I am ready for something different and even though I am grateful for the time I had, I’m looking for a neighborhood that’s laid back and a place to establish myself. I decided that if I were to buy an apartment right now, I would invest in Williamsburg. I love that you can see the sky (I forget there's a moon sometimes because I am living like an ant in a forest), I love there's lots of sunlight because there aren't tall buildings blocking it, it's more laid back, friendly, so many good restaurants and a place I feel comfortable being.
I'm unsure where my next move will be, as my search is on-going for the exact apartment situation. I am looking for a grand location, an amazing clean space and I want to move in with someone who is like minded and not crazy.
I could live on my own, but I would have to stay on the UES and I have established long ago that this isn't the area for me right now. Even though I said I’d never move to Brooklyn (because I am such a Manhattan girl??), I decided I am actually not stuck with any label and I'm leaning towards Williamsburg, because I love it there. Why not give it a try. If I hate it, I move back to Manhattan. Stepping outside my comfort zone will give me the chance to branch out and meet more people. Ideally, I’d love to have a studio there, but it's not really in my price point considering all my non-negotiables.
I want it all, but as someone once told me, “You can have it all, maybe just not at the same time.” I am going to rough it another year and live with someone (but have my own bedroom) and save some money and be ready next Summer to do the lease on my own, where I can design and create a Kendra home (white, accent colors, wood, clean, sheik, and comfortable). That’s the goal anyway. Things can change in an instant.
I am sad to say goodbye to another amazing friend soon. It’s not goodbye by any means. I am so happy for her and want her to be happy, but similar to when Lori left, there’s a little sting somewhere in my body (I think it’s the heart?).
It’s hard to establish those life-changing relationships and then part ways, because there’s created space and even though it remains beautiful, intact and influential, it’s simply different and not as good as running to grab dinner, going out and dancing your face off, watching a movie in bed (even if it’s awful) and giving bear hugs just because.
I am excited for her and I am excited for Lori and them living and creating the lives they want wherever they want. We each have a happy place, and while Lori’s may be Florida and Danielle’s may be California, NYC happens to be mine. And it is what it is.
I bought my first pieces of real furniture. I don’t have an apartment to move into, but I have a couple nice things going with me somewhere!! It seems silly and maybe even superficial to care about something like furniture, but I’ve been working really hard to have grownup things. It’s the little big things right?
I am so in love with so many things in my life. I told Danielle that when you live here, you go so fast and you're playing so hard and fighting so hard to stay afloat that a lot of emotions and things that happen don't get processed. I can go a whole day and not consider why I'm so tired (because I woke up at 5 a.m, to teach a class, worked all day, worked out, and walk in the door after 9 p.m.). I don't have the time to think about it, I just do it, and live it and love it. It sounds so crazy, I know, but it's that energy and drive to get where I want to be that keeps me going. Somehow it's working and even though I am exhausted, I can't imagine myself doing it any other way. Sometimes it takes blogging for me to sit and really digest what's going on and how I feel. (Free Therapy!) haha. I am happy, excited, grateful, in awe, in love, and totally scared out of my mind.
I’m not sure where I’ll be in a couple months, I could be in Williamsburg or maybe downtown Manhattan somewhere. Nervous and anxious, but trusting everything will work out, because something always does. It might not be the vision I had dreamed, but it will be something spectacular and unique in it’s own way.
Much love from the city xo.
This blog represents my thoughts and what's going on in the world through my eyes. It's personal, real, sad and funny and is an outlet and a way to share with you, my life and the adventures of this amazing city and beyond.
“Ask for what you want and be prepared