It’s just one of those nights where I feel like writing. It snowed Saturday morning, not a lot, but it was white and messy and really cold making it feel how NYC is supposed to feel in January. Lori is away in So Flo getting tan and hanging out at the beach and I had the weekend to myself to reflect.
I’ve spent the majority of my weekend writing cover letters, different versions of resumes and outlining a cookbook and children’s book. I have something I want really bad, it's my one big goal. And in order to achieve this goal I have to be prepared. I am not saving money, not because I choose not too, but because I can’t and in that I am determined to make a change in my life to figure out how to make it work!
No more of this, I can’t afford anything mentality. I’m changing it to the Rich Dad Poor Dad mentality of how can I make this work. No one is going to hand me $120,000. No one is going to invest in me. I am investing in myself and I am going to make it happen. One way or the other!
I’ve had a lot of personal self time the past two weeks, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, sleeping and doing what I always do when I’m stressed out, look up recipes and cook comfort foods. haha.
My depression week is over and I’m ready to continue down my challenging path of life in the big city. It’s not easy, but it’s what I’ve always wanted and I keep reminding myself that simple line. I spent years fantasizing about a life in New York and there’s no time to waste being somewhere else in my head. All I have is right now.
One of my assistant managers had a beautiful opening meeting at lulu the other day. As we discussed our intention for the day, she brought up a book called, The Mindset.
Mindset is one of those rare books that can help you make positive changes in your life and at the same time see the world in a new way.
A leading expert in motivation and personality psychology, Carol Dweck has discovered in more than twenty years of research that our mindset is not a minor personality quirk: it creates our whole mental world. It explains how we become optimistic or pessimistic. It shapes our goals, our attitude toward work and relationships, and how we raise our kids, ultimately predicting whether or not we will fulfill our potential. Dweck has found that everyone has one of two basic mindsets.
If you have the fixed mindset, you believe that your talents and abilities are set in stone–either you have them or you don’t. You must prove yourself over and over, trying to look smart and talented at all costs. This is the path of stagnation. If you have a growth mindset, however, you know that talents can be developed and that great abilities are built over time. This is the path of opportunity–and success.
Dweck demonstrates that mindset unfolds in childhood and adulthood and drives every aspect of our lives, from work to sports, from relationships to parenting. She reveals how creative geniuses in all fields–music, literature, science, sports, business–apply the growth mindset to achieve results. Perhaps even more important, she shows us how we can change our mindset at any stage of life to achieve true success and fulfillment. She looks across a broad range of
applications and helps parents, teachers, coaches, and executives see how they can promote the growth mindset.
Highly engaging and very practical, Mindset breaks new ground as it leads you to change how you feel about yourself and your future.
My manager also said it had the examples of three of the most successful CEO’s and how they changed their companies around with the growth mindset. This led us to discuss the differences in who businesses hire and the differences in them hiring Ivy league graduates who look good on paper with the fixed mindset versus the person who demonstrates the growth mindset who graduated from any school.
This conversation really resonated with me, because I’ve always felt that I got over looked based on my school. But maybe it's because they had a fixed mindset.
I remember when I had an interview at a magazine in July, and as I was starting to talk about what I had been doing editorially, the lady stops me and says, “Whoa whoa, wait. Where did you go to school?”
I replied, “The University of Kentucky.”
“You know your competing against people who went to really good schools right?”
“Yes, but I have a lot of work experience and I’ve been published.”
The conversation went on for five more minutes, but it really stopped after I told her where I went to school. Ridiculous. And I get it, and I’m not going to let it stand in my way. It made me think about what I'm doing and how I need to look at what I'm doing as a stepping stone. With that, I plan to take on more responsibilities with work and learn everything I can about business operations, entrepreneurship and management.
Lastly, during that opening meeting at lulu, the conversation then went back to the intention for the day and my manager said, life is full of setbacks, but it’s how we bounce back from them that determines what will happen next.” I needed that conversation so bad I wanted to cry. I feel like January has been a big set back with surprise doctor bills, pay checks (or lack there of) and personal stuff. I was actually starting to feel depressed. I’m pretty sure my eczema is stress induced and if I’m not careful my acid reflux is going to come back! And that can’t happen ever again! I took that conversation and came home ordered the Mindset and Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet (book club book) and felt really inspired and challenged to recover from my set backs, feel gratitude and continue to live my life and create what it is I feel compelled to do.
Much love from the city. Xoxo.
This blog represents my thoughts and what's going on in the world through my eyes. It's personal, real, sad and funny and is an outlet and a way to share with you, my life and the adventures of this amazing city and beyond.
“Ask for what you want and be prepared