Ruby is two weeks old and has gained a pound since last week. She's a hefty 7lb and 8oz today, and it's been a joint effort on hers, mine and his part. She's still so tiny, but I feel her getting longer and heavier everyday. She is so precious and has what we hope to be an innate sweetness about her, (could just be a newborn thing 😂).
I learn something new about her every day. I learn something about myself too. I am "savoring" every cry, sleepless hour, sound, facial expression, look, cuddle and quirk.
I am taking advantage of the 4-6 weeks I have where we don't have to follow "the rules" and any sort of schedule. It's the first time in my life where I want time to slow down. I want to freeze it.
I am mesmerized when she's sleeping and find myself missing her when she's been napping for more than an hour (def. a new mom thing?!)
I get 2.5 hour stretches at night and while that may sound miserable, it's actually amazing compared to week one. I am grateful for her health, happiness and all of the light she has brought into our lives.
Most of the time, I have a hard time believing I'm a Mom, like it's not real. Apparently 9 months of carrying her wasn't enough reality for me. I think it hits me the hardest at awkward times. At 3 am where I'm exhausted, half asleep, begging an unknown source for sleep. I'll look down at her while shes eating, with her sweet eyes closed tight, not a care in the world but survival, and realize she's totally dependent on me, on us, her family. And I think, holy shit, she's all ours... she's mine for that moment.
Nursing is a really beautiful, painful, bonding experience and it's our time to connect, trust, learn and get to know each other.
The reality of motherhood is so much more than anyone ever talks about. There is so much going on and it's just an incredibly magical, (utterly exhausting) process.
It shouldn't be any other way. ❤️